• Housewrighter
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  • About Michael
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Michael D Housewright
  • Housewrighter
  • Imagery
  • Video Production
  • About Michael
  • Contact
  • Housewrighter Musings

Your Life is a Trip - My Latest Published Piece

On top of my own Mountain

Your Life as a Trip - is one of the most fantastic travel publications on the web. I am honored to be included among their celebrated travel writers and here is a link to my first piece on the site: An American Male on the Make in Italy .

I hope you will make this wonderful experiential storytelling site part of your reading routine. Ellen Barone and Judith Fein are two of the most extraordinary people in the travel writing and photography business, and I am so grateful to them for the opportunity to share my work.

Please take a look and leave your comments on the site. I promise to get back to you.

Cheers Blissful Adventurers!

Michael

tags: Adventure, Ellen Barone, Italy, Italy Stories, Photography, Rome, The Blissful Adventurer, Travel, Travel Writing, Your life is a trip
Tuesday 04.09.13
Posted by Sarah Finger
 

Hipstamatic - Fun Photo Friday

Rodin Sculpture Garden - Stanford University

Hipstamatic fun photo Friday is a joyful exploration of the depths in iPhone photography that help me to document The Blissful Adventurer. These images represent my particular vision of the images I see and are intended to alter mood and shift perspective. Hipstamatic is an application for mobile phone cameras that has inspired me since its inception and I hope very much it remains a fixture in the app world.

Crossing a fabled monkey bridge to the shore. This was what I wanted Vietnam to be

Nothing embodies and embraces the slow modifications of life in Italy like the Tobacconist. What once was the place to buy coveted salt is now home to recharge cell phones and play the lottery. The shop owners endure and their demeanor rarely changes.

Rome is a place where grunge images are all around. Trash cans, scooters, awnings all play integral parts in the swooning banality varnishing something very alive and volatile.

Right outside the Apple store in downtown Denver. I never gave a rat's about Apple until Hipstamatic.These were better than I remembered and I remembered loving them.

One of San Francisco's best coffee roasters in action.

Gorgeous macerated wine from the Republic of Georgia served in traditional clay bowl (piala). These wines can be enjoyed at the wonderful new Wine Salon Et Al in San Francisco's historic Russian Hill hood.

The Blissful Adventurer - Phu Quoc Island, Vietnam (photo by Schmee)

I long to get back to sticky new sand on my arms, clear water, crabs over rice serenity. Hipstamatic will be with me and I will find guidance and share what I find.

 

tags: Italy Stories, Italian Wine, Coffee, Food Porn, Stories, Rodin, Mt. Etna, @Blissadventure
Friday 11.16.12
Posted by Sarah Finger
 

The Grape Harvest - Part 3 #TravelFiction

Mike realizing he could do no more decided to live with his look as well as his garb and went for the door. Just as he pulled the handle his iPhone buzzed on the nightstand. Another fucking birthday reminder he thought as he went to the phone and saw the SMS - "maybe you shouldn't"

There was no number attached to the message yet this note was clearly not the work of internet marketing. Mike instinctively looked about the room now as the sun was breaking the fog in all directions and created individual search lights through the bits of dust as they appeared to be in perpetual flight. Of course there was no one there but this was now two cryptic notes less than 20 minutes apart in arrival and neither with a claimed author.

Mike was now off kilter and his stomach no longer knew the pang of hunger only the ill-ease of the unknown. It was clear his presence in Piedmont was no longer any kind of secret. On the clean side of the bed and from under the still fluffy pillow Mike retrieved a Beretta 84FS Cheetah .380 auto pistol and tucked it into the discreet holster in the pocket of his grey Hugo Boss trousers. He had hoped this might be a real vacation but it was now looking more like business as usual.

A shootout in the breakfast room of his favorite B&B in Italy was not exactly how he intended to start his morning, but he figured if its going down, let's get this shit over with.

Mike, much more at ease with a task in mind rather than the consideration of his own inequities calmly strolled down the two flights of steps to the breakfast room below. It was always nerdy to walk down the stairs with ones hands in his pockets he thought as his shoulders tugged his lanky body forward down each run of the staircase with his hands battened to the inside of his trousers and gripping the weapon confidently.

As Mike entered the classic Italian breakfast room he was surprised and relieved to see that the room was not empty as he had expected, but bustling with hotel staff and 3 tables of guests.

Table 1 was a mother, daughter, and two small puppies in very tacky sweaters. Clearly NE USA Mike thought. Table 2 was the ubiquitous German family of 4, Dad was pushing 50 with a reddish-brown mustache, a look of human disdain, and always the fucking orange juice and poached egg. The Mom was just about as ugly a woman as Mike had seen in sometime with cankles that actually pushed the walls of her shoes like rampant botulism in a 7 year-old tin can of Okra. The children were younger than one might expect from parents of this age, but Germans are often over 40 before embracing parenthood.

Of course it was a boy and a girl Mike thought smugly as he considered their khaki pants and brightly colored hiking shirts. He was convinced if there had been a shootout that it would have been the most extraordinary thing that Hansel and Gretel here would witness before retiring to a matratzenlager in some hut in the alps 60 years from now.

The room was rectangular with paned glass doors and windows on 3 sides. On the fourth wall was the entrance to the hotel, the breakfast buffet (sprawling), and the entry to the kitchen. Adjacent to the kitchen entrance were 2 Savoy doors leading out to the courtyard and ultimately the vineyards and car park. There was a small table set for two facing these doors, and at the table a youthful female with chestnut hair sat, sipping a cappuccino and gazing out into the breaking fog.

Here we go, Mike thought as he unconsciously hissed at 1 of the dogs in a sweater and made his way along the buffet towards the lone female. Sensing danger was not imminent he could not help but grab a very sexy looking triangle of Robiola di Capra Castagna and pop a small morsel of the cheese in his mouth. The taste of the 3 milk cheese stopped him in his tracks for at least 5 full seconds as the salty bite of lactic brilliance unfurled and laid bare its milky breasts before Mike's discerning palate. Mike, let loose an audible, "oh God" as he pushed his tongue to the roof of his mouth to force-press the salinity deeper into his taste buds.

The young woman recognized Mike's voice immediately, left her fix on the outdoors, turned around and said, "Dad?"

...to be continued

tags: @blissadventure, adventure, Fiction, Fog, food, food porn, foodies, humor, insecurity, italian, Italy, Italy Stories, Michael Housewright, Narcissism, OCD, Piedmont, Robiola di Capra Castagna, self-esteem, shit, the blissful adventurer, Travel, travel fiction, wine
Thursday 04.12.12
Posted by Sarah Finger
 

The Grape Harvest - Part 2 (Travel Fiction)

Mike looked over the note one final time. Was it Mary, the American who works for the winery? Who even knows he was here besides his agent and the villa staff? He was hungry so he was just going to have to find out. The mirror called to him one last time and he decided that the black V-Neck masked his cheese belly better than the light grey sweater he was wearing. He changed quickly and rubbed his hands down across his abdomen hoping he might smooth away a bit of the curd that had developed along his midsection.

Mike had always been lean and with a high metabolism. It was only recently that his drinking had begun to breakdown the muscle along his core and give his belly button a 270 degree look at the world. Belly buttons are not to be noticed he thought as he took in the largest breath of air he could manage while thrusting his shoulders back. He wanted to gaze a final time in the mirror before exiting the safety of his room, for what awaited him at breakfast.

Only moments before the note arrived, his entire life's ambition had been to devour unpasteurized cheese. Now just like every other time in his life it seemed, someone wanted his attention and that was suddenly the only thing that mattered. If this was some kind of joke Mike would be livid but in reality he knew he would be faking his anger because the truth was he did not want anyone to be there; other than cheese, salumi, and solitude. If the joke would be intended to give him a hard time for the way in which he insisted on anonymity with the hotel it would be a short-lived gaffe because if no one was there it would indeed be better than if someone was. Mike was now predicting, rationalizing, and imagining, which under normal circumstances serves an author well. On this occasion it was fear of seeing someone he did not want to that fueled his latent mania.

The door handle was just at his reach when he decided his hair needed water and that there was a potential flake of dry skin on the shoulder of his black V-Neck. Fucking skin of an elephant he thought as he stripped off the shirt and stood transfixed on the space where his right pectoral muscle met his underarm. Why can I not tone this fucking spot anymore? He thought as he pushed at the reasonable mass of muscle and the slightest amount of fat.

Mike turned on the hot water and stood picking remnant sleep from his left eye as the water heated. He always had an enormous amount of sleep on his lashes that seemed to multiply in the first 20 minutes of being awake. Today was no different and frustrated he grabbed the wash cloth again and rubbed hard at his eyes before looking back at the wispy lashes that used to be full and beautiful. After years of this ritual the lashes could no longer manage to grow at the pace in which Mike destroyed them with violent wipes across his brow each day and the incessant picking that accompanied his hours in the desk chair.

This is why he was here. Italy was a unique routine and place he could escape from the banal of his day-to-day life. However, over the years as Italy has adopted more and more of the comforts of America Mike's habits have followed him. Now, even his phone worked in Europe and the cost was so low it made no sense to turn it off. Even vineyards have Wi-Fi so he had been awakened this morning before dawn by a Facebook birthday reminder for a "friend" he had never met and didn't even like.

In this remodeled 16th century villa the floors were warm, the ceilings were high, and the desk staff spoke better English than Mike spoke Italian. He had thought of going to Vietnam to write this year but the humidity and the heat made him drink too much coffee and enjoy too many massages. The pink whelps on his back from his last Vietnamese massage remained visible and tactile for almost a month.

He wanted to be in Asia but they did not have unpasteurized cheese and they sure did not have Barolo. At the end of the day, the kind of drinking that Mike did was special. He liked to drink and loved to smoke but certainly did not enjoy paying for either. If he had to pay it was Ruche all the way and smoke was an option he could ignore because the price per gram exceeded his enjoyment of the herb.

After his eyes Mike ran the wash-cloth under his armpits pulling at the bits of curdled antiperspirant and tearing at a few hairs in the process. The little sting of pain was a morning reminder why he preferred to keep his pits shaved but could not in Italy as the 220 volt converters always burned out the motors on his electric groomers and he was just too lazy to use a razor there. At least he could still suspend one domestic habit. Mike always became a little aroused when grooming, because the transformation to beautiful was like the final touches on a sculpture of his own body. Yes, he was a little heavier than he wanted but he knew, when he could be rational, that he was much more tone than most men his age. Yet, hearing it from a voice of reason was not nearly so satisfying as hearing it from a woman.

It was time to go downstairs as he slid the V-Neck back over his head and adjusted   the fit on his shoulders to accentuate their maximum width. Mike loved V-Necks because a shirt collar touching his carotid artery and Adam's apple felt like breathing into a plastic sandwich bag. While his constant need to tug and pull at the fabric around his neck usually ruined shirts in about 3 wears.

As the shirt came to fit over his chest Mike pulled it down sharply to accentuate its length. Then he brushed at his shoulders and all the way down his shoulder blades with his left arm. His right arm was so stiff from use that it never served much of a purpose for dusting, scratching, or inspection of blotchy skin on the back. Now, he thought to himself, I am where I need to be to meet this mystery suitor.

Mike pondered the full bottle of Vera Wang for Men sitting in his travel bag. As much as he wanted to make an impression on his breakfast date be it male or female, he simply could not break with tradition and wear cologne on a day he would be wine tasting. It simply was not done, and while Mike secretly hoped he would find himself ensconced in some carnal cocoon later that day he was not willing to sacrifice the aromatics of one of the world's great wines for the sake of applied pheromones.

After so much mirror time Mike was concerned there would not be enough time to return to the room after breakfast and evacuate his bowels before his first scheduled tasting. Mike simply could not function in a state of relaxation and good humor with a full colon and his defecation strategy was now seriously jeopardized by the arrival of the mystery letter.

Although the need to release could be perceived as funny, Mike was always discreet about his private time because he knew deep down it was better to be the teller of a joke than the subject of one.

...to be continued.

tags: @blissadventure, adventure, Fiction, food, food porn, foodies, humor, insecurity, italian, Italy, Italy Stories, Michael Housewright, Narcissism, OCD, Piedmont, self-esteem, shit, the blissful adventurer, Travel, travel fiction
Tuesday 04.10.12
Posted by Sarah Finger
 

The Grape Harvest - Part 1

Mike awoke, and as was often the case did not immediately know where he was. In that space between light and shadow he dreamed. Mike called these awake dreams and often began speaking aloud to characters that were not present, even before he was unconscious and by all accounts, still awake.

This morning his dream framed images of his uncle shot at close range by his cousin and then a victim list on a television news broadcast. The confusion of time shifting always makes perfect sense in a dream and when Mike would become cognizant of an absurd shift is usually when he would wake or on other occasions fall deeper into the dream.

On this day the unfamiliar room was the catalyst that brought Mike from the awake dream. He had not paid much attention to the place the night before as the wine was much more interesting than the room. Although lovely, the sheer size of the place was much grander than any he had experienced in Italy before. This was certainly not Puglia he thought as he leaned back onto a second pillow and gave a fleeting last glance at the remnant dream images in his head.

Why would he dream about something so macabre while in a place of beauty he thought as he reached for his iPhone to check some of the photos from the evening prior. Indeed there was the final shot; closeups of wine globules beading along the side of the last bottle of Nebbiolo he had taken back to his room. There next to the phone on the side table was the bottle as well as the red-purple stain on the white linen doily. "Oops, that was stupid," he said out loud.

It was Hard for him to believe he had been here before because of the foreign way in which the place felt. In addition, all the rooms were unique as was often the case with Italian lodging, and this was certainly not the room where he had stayed previously. As he glanced towards the window though, he knew he was at least in a familiar land.

The sun was beginning to ramp up for its daily fight with the fog and there was a muted light making its way through the sheer curtains. Ahh Piedmont, Seattle in a Farmer's overalls, Mike had written on the notepad provided with the room. How could he use this in a post? Would any of his readers know what he meant by that?

He got to his feet and caught himself in the mirror. There was nothing like being nude in a foreign place he thought. It was refreshing to feel strange air on familiar places. The flooring was warmed from pipes beneath making the walk across the wood such a treat for the feet. Mike considered this elementary rhyme as he pulled the door open to the bathroom and entered the bright grey sky-lit room.  At morning attention knew it would be difficult to release immediately and as he waited with no change in his condition he contemplated sitting on the toilet to relieve himself. Instead, he stared into the bathroom mirror for a different perspective of his body.

The hair on his chest was clipped to a pattern he could live with while his facial hair was strikingly absent. He had worn a beard since she told him he looked sexy with it all those years ago. Mike wanted to look sexy almost as much as he wanted to drink, just not quite.

As the urge to urinate became almost unbearable Mike ran his hands along his back, stepped back to a typically uncomfortable distance and fired away into the elegant porcelain bowl. This particular commode lacked the vulgar shit shelf of many European toilets. He knew after breakfast and coffee he would return here and the prospect of inspection was never a pleasing consideration while reading something relaxing. Mike wondered if all people considered the design of a bathroom to be either functional or decorative as he did.

He warmed a wash cloth at the sink and began to wipe the sleep from his eyes and the pillow styling from his newly cropped hair. His hair when cut and on the barbershop floor reminded him of big puffy balls of pubes. It was unfortunate, he had thought for most of his life, to have hair more appropriately textured for the scrubbing of pots and pans than running fingers through. So he never really let anyone touch it. Kind of like someone with a big stomach feels pain when it is jostled, Mike's head was psychosomatically sensitive to touch.

After his daily wash cloth ritual he began to be stirred emotionally at the thought of the breakfast downstairs. At this villa there would be no less than 6 unpasteurized cheeses on offer along with a homemade jam derived from the juice and skins of second crop dolcetto grapes. He had always perceived dolcetto to have a taste like an intense jelly and when he learned that his suspicion was indeed a reality it made him giddy. Now, at long last he would be back in his breakfast heaven.

As Mike reached for his underwear that he had washed in the sink the night before, there came a knock at his door. Mike, frozen for a second not knowing what to do or say found the words just as the door was rapped a second time:

Mike - un attimo per piacere

Hotel Employee - abbiamo una lettera per lei Signore

Mike - per io? la lettera e per Mike...

HE - (interrupting) si e vero

Mike opened the door slightly so as not to expose his current malady and took the letter. When he looked down he realized it was in the Villa's own stationary. He began to say something to the hotel employee but she was gone.

He tore open the envelope and inside was written a single word:

Colazione? (breakfast?) ....to be continued

tags: @blissadventure, adventure, Fiction, food, food porn, foodies, humor, italian, Italy, Italy Stories, Michael Housewright, Piedmont, the blissful adventurer, Travel, wine
Friday 04.06.12
Posted by Sarah Finger
 

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